Tuesday, September 30, 2008

TMI Tuesday #154

1. What do you feel is the difference between sexy and erotic?

I think this is the best question I've seen so far. I would describe sexy as a state of being; an attitude. Eroticism leans more towards the physical act of sex itself. I would say that it's possible to be sexy but not erotic, but you can't be erotic without being sexy.

2. Do you believe there is one right person (i.e. soul mate) for you out there in the world, or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with?

I think that the concept of a single soulmate is a hold-over from the Romantic Period. There are many compatible lovers/life partners for any individual. I find the concept of spending youth to find 'your one true soulmate' greatly wasteful. Imagine if you didn't find your soulmate! Consider it Pascal's Wager as applied to love.

3. Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner?

"I love you" is just a phrase. Actions speak much louder than words; I would much rather have a loving embrace.

4. What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing?

I'm not quite sure. My mother sometimes asks me, "How come I never see you happy?" Hyperbolic for sure, but I don't think the problem is happiness per se, but expressing it. I can be happy but still be quite serious. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm losing my sense of humour. (Desensitization in our media obsessed culture.) I find it takes a lot to get me to laugh out loud.

[Case-in-point: 'Laugh out loud' seems so cliche now. I blame the proliferation of the acronym L.O.L.]

5. What is worse - physical, mental or cyber cheating?

This is a tough call. I would classify cyber cheating as a form of mental cheating. Between physical and mental I would choose physical. Physical and mental cheating together is certainly worse.

The physical act of sex does not necessarily require an emotional component, although it certainly makes sex more fulfilling. Depending on the relationship and the partners involved, this may or may not be a problem. I might write a separate post expanding on this point.

I believe that a person's thoughts are sovereign. As such, I don't think a partner's fantasies are any of my business unless they decide to involve me in them or they act upon them.

Bonus: The Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of their sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual. Where are you - TODAY - on the scale?

The last time I took a test to place myself on the Kinsey Scale, I scored a one. This time I scored a three. I don't believe the test I took this time was the same test I took last time, so I wouldn't put a lot of stock in the consistency. Furthermore, there is only the Kinsey Scale. Kinsey developed no test or examination to be used in conjunction with his scale. Self-reporting, I would still say I'm a one. [That's predominantly heterosexual; only incidentally homosexual AKA 'bi-curious.']

Friday, September 26, 2008

TMI Tuesday Trifecta

Rejected names include "TMI Tuesday Triple Treat" and "TMI Tuesday Triple Terror."

I know that this is exceptionally late, but I want to at least try to remain consistent.

Let's start with the newest TMI's and work our way backwards shall we?

TMI Tuesday #153

1. What is the strangest thing you have ever inserted or seen inserted (in a sexual manner) in person?

Oh dear.

The use of 'strange' makes this a very subjective question. I wouldn't think of anything I've personally used as strange, although I've only used one thing. For the record, I haven't seen anyone else insert anything in person.

2. Have you ever had sex anyone whose name started with a J?

*Snicker* Does myself count?

3. Have you ever been outside completely naked?

I don't ever recall being outside completely naked.

4. Do you prefer music, tv, or other noise in the background when you have sex?

I honestly don't know. I think some types of music would be nice, as well as nature sounds.

5. Have you ever used ice for sexual purposes?


Bonus: Have you ever been propositioned for group sex?

No. (Sadly.)

TMI Tuesday #152 - Rerun edition

1. Ever been stalked an ex [sic]? Stalked an ex? Or stalked 'a you'd like to be'?

No I haven't. Hopefully I'd be worried if I was or did.

2. How often do you reach orgasm during sex? Has then historically been true?

Usually once.

3. Teeth when used during oral stimulation, good or bad?

Coming from my angle? Bad. Possibly very bad.

4. How many times is the most you have ever had sex in a 24 hour period? How many different sexual partners have you had in a 24 hour period?

Seven and one, respectively. (Does it really count if it's myself?)

5) Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone email your deepest secret too [sic] all your friends?

Hmm. Knowing my friends and knowing how self-conscious I can be, I'd rather take the latter.

Bonus: Have you ever kissed your partner on the lips after oral sex without brushing teeth, nor washing/gargling/rinsing out mouth? Turn on or off?

No, and no idea.

TMI Tuesday #151

1. Describe the perfect date for YOURSELF... what you would enjoy most.

I'm honestly not the dating type. I'm more of a 'meet people casually' person. I guess a nice dinner and an evening at the waterfront or the gardens.

2. Do you lean more toward being submissive or dominant?

I lean more to the submissive side. At this very moment, I'm beginning to wonder if it's more psychological than I originally thought. An effect of anxiety perhaps?

3. What do you usually wear to bed?

Over the last several months, whenever I've had the opportunity, I've taken to sleeping in the nude. I read an article at a naturist website touting the supposed health benefits of sleeping nude and naturism in general. Ever the skeptic, I decided to try it for myself. I believe that ever since the change I've been sleeping better. I also find the feeling of my comforter against my skin quite sensual.

(I can't find the exact article, but this .pdf is fairly good for anyone who's interested.)

4. Have you ever seen a counselor?

Yes I have. I'm not going to say anything else beyond that.

5. Lights on or off?

Lights on. Maybe lights off sometimes to mix it up.

Bonus: Have you or a partner ever faked an orgasm?


Thursday, September 04, 2008

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

TMI Tuesday #150

1. When was the last time someone hit on you? What went down?

I can't remember the last time anyone hit on me.

2. If you were single and could be with any one person, who would it be (thinking singer/actor or someone famous here, but whatever)?

Ugh. I hate this kind of question. I don't think I could deal with being a celebrity's S/O.

3. Have you ever had done anything sexual in your office or your place of employment?


4. Do you apologize when you make a mistake? How do you react when someone calls you out?

I'll apologize if I know I made a mistake. I'd probably act defensive if someone called me out on making a mistake.

5. Top or bottom?

Bottom. Sub or Dom?

Bonus: How old were you when you first had a willing sexual experience?

I'm assuming masturbation doesn't count. You'll have to refer to the following formula:

(Current Age) + X = Y

Where X is the interval between Current Age and Y
Where Y is the age of my first willing sexual experience

See you same time next week!

Why Did I Even Write This?

So here's the answer from last week's TMI Tuesday that I didn't write. I'd like to be a woman. Before you even think it, it's not for some sexual kick. Although there are several sexual perks I can think of. (More nerve endings and more intense orgasms, the capability of having multiple and G-spot orgasms, female ejaculation, etc.)

It's about experiencing existence from the perspective of the opposite sex. I'll never know what the intimate connection between a mother and a child is like. I'll never have the experience of giving birth or menstruating. (From what I've been told they're not at all pleasant, but I'm honestly curious. You have to take the good with the bad.) I'll never know what it's like growing up as a girl or dating a man, or even another woman, from a feminine perspective. I'll never have the innate intuition and empathy that most women seem to have. I'm not really ashamed to say that I'm jealous of women.

There's even more than that. The female body seems to me much more aesthetically pleasing than the male one. Perhaps I have a biased opinion because I was born as a male. I find the male form so rugged and unsophisticated. I think Auguste Rodin's works provide a perfect example of the beauty I'm trying to convey. Works like The Kiss, The Poet and the Muse, Eternal Spring, and so on.

[DOMAI has a nice article on the female form here.]

For a while, when I still clung to the notion of reincarnation I had hoped that my next life would be that of a woman, so I could experience life from a new perspective naturally. Another thought I had was that if I ever had children, I would want a daughter. I didn't really know why at the time, but I think now I do. If I couldn't have the opportunity to be the fairer sex, perhaps my child could. I realize now that I was projecting my thoughts and feelings.

I don't have these feelings strongly enough to justify to myself any type of reassignment surgery. I imagine if there were no side effects and it were reversible, I'd give it a try. I might even stay that way if I liked it. But I was born a male, and I have to play the cards I was dealt in life. I wouldn't call myself trans-gender. I think trans-curious is a better phrase. Like Ron Rifkin's character Saul in Brothers & Sisters, the great irony of my life is that I love women. Perhaps so much that I don't think I'd mind being one.