English 101

I took this picture outside the local Dairy Queen a few days ago. I think whoever put the sign up needs to take English 101 again.


"Me fail English? That unpossible!" -Ralph Wiggum

P.S. I'm sorry that you, my loyal readers, never got your rant. You probably aren't.

The Alaskan Wolf Hunt

I think I'm going to be sick.


Click Here to Learn More
© Defenders of Wildlife

Will someone stop the Alaska wolf hunt, please?

April Button Update

Here are the buttons from the last six weeks, more or less in order:

Iraq is Arabic for Vietnam [It isn't, really]
We're making enemies faster than we can kill them [We really need to do something about that aggro, eh?]
Stewart-Colbert 2008 [I don't really have a comment for this one]
Just plain evil without my coffee [I wore this as a joke for a coworker]
If you're so pro-life, try getting one! [I might have gone a bit overboard, but honestly, do these people have nothing better to do in their spare time?]
Against gay marriage? Don't marry one! [I wore this for the Day of Silence this week]

If you're lucky, maybe you'll get a rant tomorrow.

Day of Silence

Speak up for those who can't.

[/irony]

Fate or Coincidence?

I left school early last Wednesday to go to the walk-in clinic. I bruised a tendon in my foot Tuesday afternoon at Judo. When I sat down on the bus, I looked behind me and found a brochure for this place.

I knew that you could get a degree in philosophy, and that metaphysics was a subschool of philosophy, but I never thought of a school devoted entirely to the subject. Given how unsure I am with what I want in a career, and my recent interest in spirituality, I thought that it was an interesting find.

So, fate or coincidence?

Button for Mar. 3 - Mar. 9: The Patriot Act: Turning Citizens into Suspects Since 2001

Over The Hills...

...And far away.

I fear that I'm losing my faith in Humanity. I blame it on reading FSTDT.com every day since Tuesday.

The House of Commons is also driving me nuts. The partisanship is insane.

This Week's Button: Happiness is a journey, not a place.

A Long Overdue Rant and Buttons Update

I've decided to post the buttons that I bought but never really wore. AfterVerner and Kai were right. I originally came up with the whole idea of wearing a button every week as a way to express myself without ever saying anything. I've always been a bit shy about expressing my beliefs on social issues. I think it's because I fear being ostracized. Anyway, here they are:

Jan. 6 - Jan. 12: God Loves You! Some restrictions may apply...

Jan. 13 - Jan. 19: Please Jesus, protect me from your followers!

Jan. 20 - Jan. 26: How long until evolution eliminates the Christian Right?

Jan. 27 - Feb. 2: Just another soulless atheist in search of world peace and harmony.

Feb. 3 - Feb. 9: Truth is the first casualty of war.

(Friggernaffy! I missed a week!)

This week: No really, I live for these creepy, awkward moments.

Now let me explain a few things. One, I realize the irony in AfterVerner being the first one to encourage me to post them. Second, I have nothing against Christians.

I remember when I was younger, probably about six or seven, recieving a couple of Bibles as a gift. I'm sure that they were from someone that didn't know my family very well. They were the kind of Bibles with the colourful illustrations of Noah's ark or Jesus, and proclamied that the pages within contained 'the greatest story ever told.' They were the kind of Bibles with all of the 'fire and brimstone' type passages removed, probably to avoid scaring any little kids.

I read them in their entirety, as I did with any other book. After completing them, I couldn't help but feel confused. I simply couldn't believe it. This was the greatest story ever told? Other people actually believed this and accepted it as fact?

I should probably mention at this time that I was raised an atheist, as far as I can tell. We never prayed, we never talked about spiritual belief. I had only been in a church once, as far as I could remember. Our neighbours (who weren't very devout) invited us because their kids were getting baptized. I remember feeling out of place, and I didn't understand the purpose of getting baptized. I don't think I fully understand it today.

I realize that the majority of Christians are good people. It's people like this and people who use parts of the Bible like this and this to justify their prejudices. Also people who make websites like this and this and this and this.

Also, hypocrisy. This is not the love that Jesus was talking about. Memo to the religious right: Get your heads out of the sand. (I mean 'right' in terms of the political spectrum.)

I do my best to treat these people based on who they are, not what they are. I only wish they had the wisdom and respect to do the same.

And that is why I'm not a Christian. (Or any other Abrahamic religion, for that matter, but I don't have anything against them either other than for the same reasons I outlined here.)

Short Update

I decided to take a cue from Laura Matthews and make a list, but with a twist.

Things I Want to Do Between Death and Reincarnation:

1. Float around in the ether.

2. Scare people having an astral shift.

3. Say hello to Guenhwyvar. (This one won't make sense unless you've read R.A. Salvatore.)

Ozy & Millie

Hello readers. While browsing the internet, as I am wont to do, I came across a link that I'd like to share with you. It's a webcomic, one that (to me, anyway) bears a resemblance to Calvin & Hobbes. It's philosophical, has social commentary, and has the simple humour and wisdom of a pair of young children. Things that I think we are lacking today. It also has an eccentric ex-hippie dragon.

Notable quotes range from the insightful, to the simply absurd:

"To mindlessly do the opposite of what everyone else is doing is merely another way of making oneself a slave to popular opinion."

"Always proactively untwist octagonal hippopotamus pants."

Meet Ozy & Millie: http://www.ozyandmillie.org/index.html


...I want a top-hat and John Lennon sunglasses.

It's gone...for now.

You may have noticed that I didn't post the button I bought on Saturday, or last Saturday. I thought that some people may have found them offensive, so I haven't posted them or worn them much. If you browse EVOLVE Fish long enough, you'll probably come across them.

I've decided to shave off my beard. I don't think it will look as good with my hair grown out, so I'm going to see what it's like without it for awhile. I also thought about getting rid of my sideburns, but I'll leave them for now. I don't think that they will clash with the rest of my appearance.

And now, I'm stealing this from Kai (sorta):

ABC of Me
The Letter A
Are you available?:	Yes.
What is your age?:	Seventeen, nearly eighteen.
What annoys you?:	Conservatives.
The Letter B
Do you live in a big house?:	No.
When is your birthday?:	March fifth.
Who is your best friend?:	Please don't make me choose.
The Letter C
What's your favorite candy?:	Those pink and blue coke bottles. I think.
Who's your crush?:	None currently.
When was the last time you cried?:	I can't remember.
The Letter D
Do you daydream?:	Yes.
What's your favorite kind of dog?:	Alaskan Malamute/German Shepard?
What day of the week is it?:	Monday.
The Letter E
How do you like your eggs?:	Scrambled, if I must.
Have you ever been in the emergency room?:	Yes.
What's the easiest thing ever to do?:	Nothing.
The Letter F
Have you ever flown in a plane?:	Yes.
Do you use fly swatters?:	Yes.
Have you ever used a foghorn?:	No.
The Letter G
Do you chew gum?:	Occasionally.
Are you a giver or a taker?:	Both? Karma can be confusing sometimes.
Do you like gummy candies?:	Yes.
The Letter H
How are you?:	Tired.
What color is your hair?:	Brown.
The Letter I
What's your favorite ice cream?:	Cotton Candy, maybe?
Have you ever ice skated?:	Yes.
Do you play an instrument?:	No, but I used to.
The Letter J
What's your favorite jelly bean brand?:	Jelly Belly, I guess.
Do you wear jewelry?:	Sometimes.
The Letter K
Who do you want to kill?:	No one. Preferably.
Do you want kids?:	I don't know yet.
Where did you go for kindergarten?:	Sidney Elementary.
The Letter L
Are you laid back?:	Yes.
Do you lie?:	Yes. Or would that be no?
The Letter M
Whats your favorite movie?:	Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Dragon Heart
Do you still watch Disney movies?:	Sure, why not?
Do you like mangos?:	No.
The Letter N
Do you have a nickname?:	Yes.
What is your real name?:	Jared.
Whats your favorite number?:	Six?
Do you prefer night over day?:	Yes.
The Letter O
What's your one wish?:	I'd tell you, but then it might come true.
Are you an only child?:	Yes.
The Letter P
What one fear are you most paranoid about?:	What people think of me.
What are your pet peeves?:	Bad spelling and grammar.
What's a personality trait you look for in people?:	Intelligence.
The Letter Q
What's your favorite quote?:	"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Are you quick to judge people?:	No.
The Letter R
Do you think you're always right?:	No. Or would that be yes?
Are you one to cry?:	Yes.
The Letter S
Do you prefer sun or rain?:	Sun.
Do you like snow?:	Yes.
What's your favorite season?:	Winter.
The Letter T
What time is it?:	6:49
What time did you wake up?:	6:15
When was the last time you slept in a tent?:	August.
The Letter U
Are you wearing underwear?:	Yes.
Underwear or boxers?:	Underwear....
The Letter V
What's the worst veggie?:	Zucchini.
Where do you want to go on vacation?:	Nearly everywhere.
The Letter W
What's your worst habit?:	Procrastination.
Where do you live?:	British Columbia, Canada.
What's your worst fear?:	Being forgotten in history.
The Letter X
Have you ever had an x-ray?:	Yes.
Have you seen the x-games?:	No.
Do you own a xylophone?:	No.
The Letter Y
Do you like the color yellow?:	Not particularly.
What's one thing you yearn for?:	Understanding.
The Letter Z
Whats your zodiac sign?:	Pisces.
Do you believe in the zodiac?:	Sure, why not?
Favorite zoo animal?:	Tigers, maybe?
Take this survey Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

End of Winter Break

So it's the end of winter break and school starts tomorrow. Hoo-rah. (That was sarcasm.) The holiday season was eventful, full of family and friends, games, and discussion. As I remarked to one friend while gift shopping (mostly for others but I did get a few things for myself), "I've spent more than I should have but less than I would have liked."

My mother had a hysterectomy after Christmas (for health reasons), but is out of the hospital now and is recovering nicely.

Marcie has behaved moderately well, and she begins puppy classes on Thursday. You know how they say that pets resemble their owners? Since I started growing my hair out, I've developed tufts of hair on the sides of my neck below my ears. They look awfully similar to the ones that Marcie has grown in the past few weeks.

I've never grown my hair out before, and I've become a bit fond of my pelage. I'm sure that the novelty will wear out in time though.

I don't have much that I would like to say (or would care to say) so I'm going to end with the buttons for this week and the past four weeks.

Dec. 9 - Dec. 15: There never was a good war or a bad peace. -Benjamin Franklin

Dec. 16 - Dec. 22: Oh well, I wan't using my civil liberties anyway.

Dec. 23 - Dec. 29: I think, therefore I'm liberal.

Dec. 30 - Jan. 5: Everything I need to know about live I've learned by reading banned books.

This week: America: The best democracy corporate lobbyists can buy.

P.S. I tried the blossoming tea at Serious Coffee. It's pretty good, unless you steep it too long. I think that about half of what you pay for is for the show though, but I would still recommend it.

STD and B.

No, not sexually transmitted diseases and bears. Starbucks, Tanner's, December, and Buttons. Although "Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Bears" sounds like it would make an interesting research topic. [Just out of curiosity, I googled it and found nothing relevant. But I did find this:
The STD Bear

Our weekly meeting at Starbucks was once again [insert appropriate adjective here.] We had a fairy brief discussion on the Liberal Leadership Race in Montreal, before moving on to other, more mundane and humours matters. I think I may have even scarred Jon for life. On another note, I made myself a pair of environmentally friendly, 60% post-consumer fibre bracelets from some coffee cup sleeves.

After Starbucks, some of us went to Tanner's to browse. The clerk commented that it was my third time visiting that day. I had browsed on the first and third visits, I bought an issue of Dragon Magazine and a copy of Moon Called by Patricia Biggs on my second visit. Starting to sound like last week, isn't it?

December. Where the heck did that come from!? October only seems like it was yesterday. [I know October isn't a day of the week, thank you.] This month of the year seems so very far away around February or March, but when you get to around October or November, it almost feels like time accelerates. It's not possible of course, but hey, time flies when you're having fun.

Before I forget, I went to the Serious Coffee that opened next to the Red Brick Cafe. The coffee was about as good as what they have at the Red Brick Cafe [Which isn't saying much] and the price and quantity was comparable to Ralph's Coffee and Tea House. The food they had when I visited looked comparable to what one might find at Alexander's or Cafe Med on Beacon Avenue. [The Red Brick Cafe beats them there.] The only things that I liked: The modern atmosphere, the original art on the walls [for sale!] and the fact that they had a flat-panel television. They also had "Flowering White Tea" which I think I will have to go back and try. It definately seems like a 'once in a while' coffee shop to me.

I also went into town with Mike. The Mayfair Shopping Centre, specifically. He was kind enough to buy me an early Christmas present, despite all my protests. Now I have to get him something...

This Week's Button: Get real, like Jesus would ever own a gun and vote Republican.

Snow Day?

So today is a... snow day. That never happens here. Theoretically, anyway.

Infrastructure here is all but non-existant. The electricity is out in many areas, and the city doesn't have a budget for snowploughs. At least we don't have the turbidity warnings here, like they do in Vancouver. Or as Uncyclopedia calls it, the "Drink Beer" advisory.

I think what has surprised me the most is how much people are complaing. They should spend a winter east of the Rockies and see what they think then. I keep thinking to myself, "Suck it up, you're Canadian!" whenever I hear someone complaining about the snow.

So not long after we got our electricity back, Werner calls and wants to set up a game of Risk at my house. So after some negotiations, the deal is done and he shows up with his rag-tag bunch of Risk enthusiests.

After our game finished [we decided that Werner was the winner, we never actually finished] we went to Jon's, picked up a copy of Civilizations IV, then went back to my house and started a game. Tommy even dropped by briefly.

Well, now I'm out of blogging material....

Starbucks and the Button a Week Challenge Continues...

I spent way too much money today. I don't have the reciepts with me, but I figure I spent somewhere in the neighbourhood of 50~70 dollars. I guess it's hard to resist the temptation the day after you get your paycheck. The problem is, I need to save so I can pay for my trip to England and France this June.

Here's a rundown of what I bought, if memory serves:

Issue of PC Gamer [with CD]
Teach Yourself Visually Guide to Knitting
A day-by-day calendar for 2007 [with discount]
Benighted by Kit Whitfield [with discount]
Coffee at Ralph's
Latte at Starbucks

Not paying for any of it with a Mastercard: Priceless.


After my shopping spree, I went over to a Kyle E 's house and to Starbucks in the evening to meet with Werner and Matthew P. I had intended to discuss Stephen Harper's recognition of Quebec as "a nation within Canada." However, we quickly moved on to other topics, notably Werner's vintage Soviet longcoat.

After, we went to Tanner's Books and had a fun time browsing. One notable find was "The Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide to History." It included such gems as how to win a bayonet fight, defend a medieval castle, and how to defect from the USSR.

Until next time,

-JarJar_Head

This Week's Button: Never apologize for your art.

Knitting, you say?

Here I am, sitting at my computer desk, knitting of all things. Knitting. But that doesn't make me feel strange. It's listening to Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica while I'm knitting that makes me feel strange.

For those who don't know, a knitting bee was held at the church last night to make scarves for the homeless. I'm sorry, I mean residentially challenged. That's much more politically correct. It's been a while since I tried knitting last, probably about eight months. I actually learned how to 'cast on' this time. It was something I had tried to learn before, but I forgot how to do it after every stitch I started. At the time, it had just been easier for someone else to start it for me.

Of course, we all make mistakes, and I'm no exception, if not a prime example. I drop stitches, gain stitches, some of my stitches are too tight, and some of them are too loose. But it's only my first project, and I'm content with my progress.

As the sweater says, "Cool kids knit." Of course there's also the less often seen "It's hip to knit."

The Button a Week Challenge

First, a little background. For quite some time, I've imagined myself as an activist or philantropist. Seems I imagine things a lot. Between the time I spend at school, work, and my social life, I'm left with little time to be a fairly active activist and I have little unused funds to be a decent philanthropist. Additionally, I'm very quiet about my beliefs for fear of critisizm. I suppose you could say that I have a weak self-esteem. But enough on this.

While browsing the products at http://www.evolvefish.com, it occurred to me that many of the buttons that they sell (mostly activist oriented) are also available at a local music store. Convienent for me, seeing as I don't have a credit card and I want to avoid international shipping fees. The one downside to this is that the music store's selection is somewhat limited.

This foray into Internet window shopping (Did I just make a pun?) gave me an idea: wear a button every day, every week, for a year; with a different button each week.

52 buttons. 117.54 dollars. (Tax incl.)

What have I gotten myself into?


This Week's Button: "Coffee is God."