TMI Tuesday #154

1. What do you feel is the difference between sexy and erotic?

I think this is the best question I've seen so far. I would describe sexy as a state of being; an attitude. Eroticism leans more towards the physical act of sex itself. I would say that it's possible to be sexy but not erotic, but you can't be erotic without being sexy.

2. Do you believe there is one right person (i.e. soul mate) for you out there in the world, or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with?

I think that the concept of a single soulmate is a hold-over from the Romantic Period. There are many compatible lovers/life partners for any individual. I find the concept of spending youth to find 'your one true soulmate' greatly wasteful. Imagine if you didn't find your soulmate! Consider it Pascal's Wager as applied to love.

3. Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner?

"I love you" is just a phrase. Actions speak much louder than words; I would much rather have a loving embrace.

4. What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing?

I'm not quite sure. My mother sometimes asks me, "How come I never see you happy?" Hyperbolic for sure, but I don't think the problem is happiness per se, but expressing it. I can be happy but still be quite serious. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm losing my sense of humour. (Desensitization in our media obsessed culture.) I find it takes a lot to get me to laugh out loud.

[Case-in-point: 'Laugh out loud' seems so cliche now. I blame the proliferation of the acronym L.O.L.]

5. What is worse - physical, mental or cyber cheating?

This is a tough call. I would classify cyber cheating as a form of mental cheating. Between physical and mental I would choose physical. Physical and mental cheating together is certainly worse.

The physical act of sex does not necessarily require an emotional component, although it certainly makes sex more fulfilling. Depending on the relationship and the partners involved, this may or may not be a problem. I might write a separate post expanding on this point.

I believe that a person's thoughts are sovereign. As such, I don't think a partner's fantasies are any of my business unless they decide to involve me in them or they act upon them.

Bonus: The Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of their sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual. Where are you - TODAY - on the scale?

The last time I took a test to place myself on the Kinsey Scale, I scored a one. This time I scored a three. I don't believe the test I took this time was the same test I took last time, so I wouldn't put a lot of stock in the consistency. Furthermore, there is only the Kinsey Scale. Kinsey developed no test or examination to be used in conjunction with his scale. Self-reporting, I would still say I'm a one. [That's predominantly heterosexual; only incidentally homosexual AKA 'bi-curious.']