Thoughts From 1 A.M.

I was getting ready for bed at about one o'clock on Saturday morning. I was standing in the bathroom looking in the mirror and mentally altering my appearance. I had just had a haircut at five o'clock on Friday, and this was my first chance to take a really good look at it.

I didn't like it. I missed having longer hair; particularly at the back of my neck. It made me feel vulnerable. It also made me look...butch. First, I imagined myself without the facial hair. Then I added breasts. B cups first, then C cups. The kind where the nipples point out away from the centre of the chest a bit. I was oddly pleased and amused with the results of my thought experiment. Maybe it's because I was born and raised in British Columbia, but I'm just a B- and C-type of person.

TMI Tuesday Power Hour

Can I complete five TMI Tuesdays in one hour?

TMI Tuesday #166 - Merry Christmas!

1. What present do you hope ends up under your tree?

I wanted a Chapters iRewards membership...and I got it!

2. What present are you most psyched about giving?

I got a friend of mine some inflatable packaging from work as a sort of gag gift. I'm not sure if she's popped it yet.

3. Do you prefer to give or receive?

I'll say give. (You're more likely to receive something if you give something first. ;) )

4. What is your favorite part of a sexual partner's body?

Ignoring the naughty bits...the back, the sides of the neck, and the ridges at the top of the pelvis. Oh, and the sides of the ribcage. But please, no anorexic models.

5. What is the favorite part of your body - the one you hope a sexual partner will find or pay the most attention to?

I'm still a bit uncomfortable about my body...my 'sex esteem' if you will. Although that's improved in the last few years. I think the back of my neck is a fairly erogenous zone. Especially the knobs on my vertebrae.

Bonus: What Christmas wishes would you grant to whom? I don't really know what any of my friends' or family members' Christmas wishes were. I guess I'll have to wait until next year.

TMI Tuesday #167 - Happy New Year!

1. Last week was "The Most Wonderful time of the Year", but what are your favorite 2008 memories?

My favorite memories involve my friends. I enjoy myself the most when I'm around them.

2. What is the best thing you learned in 2008?

I'm not entirely sure. Maybe having the personal experience of being a wage slave is the most significant.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how good was your 2008?

I'm going to say an eight. It wasn't amazing, but I graduated and got a decent job. I also grew closer to my friends, and made a few new ones.

4. What is your wish for 2009? What is your wish for someone else for 2009?

I don't want the Republicans in the U.S. or the Conservatives (and the lukewarm Liberals, for that matter) here in Canada to screw things up anymore than they already are. I think most of us can agree on that.

5. Where was the first place you ever passionately kissed?

I'll tell you when I find out. :(

Bonus:Do you make New Year's resolutions? What is/are your's for 2009?

In 2008, my New Year's Resolution was to stop making New Year's resolutions.

TMI Tuesday #168 - Would You Rather...

1. Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you dislike/don't get along with?

I think I'd rather be stranded with someone I don't get along with. Best case scenario: We learn to tolerate each other. Worst case scenario: One of us becomes a cannibal.

2. Would you rather accidentally walk in on your parents having sex or have them walk in on you?

Seriously? I'll take the latter over the former.

3. Would you rather be snapped by paparazzi during a nipple slip or while exiting a car without any underwear?
(Guys, consider similar circumstances.)

I think I'll take the former this time.

4. Would you rather not have sex for two years or not be able to use the Internet for two years?

I've gotten this far without sex just fine, so I'll say the former.

5. Would you rather find true love or 1 million dollars?

Without getting into a philosophical debate about the existence of true love, I'll say true love.

Bonus: If you had to choose *one* sexual position for the rest of your life, what would it be? Why?

I can't think of any conceivable circumstance where you'd be forced to chose one sexual position for the rest of your life. (That would be really boring.) Anyway, I'm going to go with the Lotus because it's really intimate.

TMI Tuesday #169 - Back to TMI Basics

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your sex life?

I'll say a five. I'd like a sex life, but I've been able to survive this long.

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?

"WTF? ... This is hot..."

3. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done or said to you?

I'm not sure. I haven't had a romance, so to speak.

4. Where is the most unusual place you have ever had sex?

Not applicable to me.

5. How do you liked to be kissed?

Softly, I think.

Bonus: Most embarrassing sexual moment?

Not applicable either.

TMI Tuesday #170

1. Have you ever dated/married purely for money?

No, and I don't particularly plan on it.

2. What is your type?

I'm going to answer this in a different way. My Myers-Briggs is INTP, although the last two have been F's and J's in the past. I think I'd be compatible with other IN-- types.

3. What is the best sex game you have ever played?

I've never played a sex game. I've played games with sexual questions, but not a sex game.

4. Have you ever given or received an orgasm from a person whose last name you did not know?

No I haven't.

5. Have you ever masturbated in front of a sexual partner?

'No I haven't' for this one too.

Bonus: At what age do you think men and women reach their sexual peak? Do you think you have hit yours yet?

I think men hit their sexual peak between 17-25. Women around 25-32. I imagine I'm in mine right now. (Don't let it go to waste girls! [And maybe some guys.])

TMI Tuesday #165

1. What is the greatest age difference between you and a SO? Older or younger?

Not applicable to me, unfortunately. However, I think this is appropriate.

2. What is the greatest age difference between you and any sexual partner? Older or younger?

Also not applicable, unfortunately.

3. Have you started your holiday shopping? Is it done?

As far as I'm concerned, my holiday shopping is done. I may buy one or two small things as an afterthought.

4. What are the chances there will be a "naughty" present under the tree this year (either from you or for you)?

Not very likely, I'm afraid.

5. What is your favorite holiday song?

John Lennon's "So This is Xmas" is a favorite. I'm sure I have others, but I don't know their names off-hand.

Bonus:Do you have a preferred time of day to have sex? If so, why?

No, I don't see that mattering much right now.

TMI Twos-day 2

TMI Tuesday # 163

1. What are your turn-ons?

Ignoring the givens.... Long hair (also "Emo" hair while I'm at it), boots (knee- or thigh-high), corsets. I'm sure there are some other ones I can't think of right now. Also, I consider myself a bit of a doraphile. (Google it if you have to.) Not that I have an actual attraction to an item, but I find the feel very sensuous. I think that it would enhance the sensation felt during the act. (Which ultimately is the point if it's not for procreation, right? And even those two don't need to be mutually exclusive.)

2. What are your turn-offs?

Lack of intelligence, intolerance, manipulative/obnoxious/loud people, yadda yadda rama-lama ding-dong.

3. Not counting your turn-ons, what's the best trait a person can have?

An open mind and willingness to experiment with new things and new ideas.

4. Not counting your turn-offs, what's the worst trait a person can have?

Willful ignorance.

5. What's your biggest pet peeve?

Dishes that are supposed to be clean, but aren't.

Bonus: Describe your best and worst experience.

Author's Note: These are non-sexual.

Best: Too many to choose from.
Worst: Depression. Definitely depression.

TMI Tuesday #164

1. Do you consider sexy underthings a present for you or your partner?

Giving sexy undergarments as a gift definitely seems self serving. Although, I suppose it depends on the couple.

2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"? Have your best relationship(s) been with your type or when you have gone against it?

I'm not exactly sure what 'my type' would be. Something like the strong, silent type I guess. I haven't had a serious relationship with anyone, so this question isn't really applicable.

3. What is on your Santa list this year?

A membership card for Chapters, some money and gift certificates. Nothing special.

4. Generally speaking, who has historically had a higher libido, you or your partner(s)?

This isn't really applicable either because I've never had a partner and I don't have one now. I would assume me simply because of the stereotype of young and horny males.

5. The unsculptured female bush seems to have passed from fashion. What about men, do you think they need to trim and shave "down there"?

I don't entirely agree. I can appreciate a natural, trimmed, or shaved bush on a woman. The natural image still has a following.

I can't speak for other men, but I honestly don't like having untamed pubic hair. I'd rather have it trimmed or shaved, it makes me feel a bit...awkward? Ugly?

Bonus:What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual non-sexual)?

Good food and drink, candles, fireplaces, spending some quality time with friends. As far as sexual things go, I like women that take initiative. Aggressive women, even. I think it's because I'm introverted and insecure. Confident women make me feel more comfortable.

TMI Tuesday #162

TMI Tuesday #162

1. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?

It's all good, but I really like cranberry sauce. I only have it at Thanksgiving or Christmas.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

I'd rather not muck with the timeline if I could. If I had to...it's a tough call between The Backstreet Boys and N'Sync.

3. You seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

It depends on what I want at that point in time. It could be anything really.

4. What is your favorite curse word?

F*ck, just because it's so versatile. If this question were about the frequency of use, it would be damn.

5. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

Let's say Athens-around 425BCE-to philosophize with Socrates. In actuality, I'd probably go to some significant historical period. Let's say Victorian England or Rome before the fall of the republic.

Bonus:You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

The super-power to cure radiation poisoning. I imagine it would be very useful right then.

New Columns

My blog has become little more than a repository for memes of late, particularly TMI Tuesday. My first NaNoWriMo attempt has been a miserable failure the likes of with have not been seen since the Hindenburg. Now that I have some free time available I want to get back to some heartier, more cerebral fare.

So I'm announcing three new series that I'm going to start. The "Controversial Topics Series", the "Things I Like Series" (Inspired in part by this), and the "Things I Don't Like Series." Look for the first in one of these series later this week.

TMI Two-sday

Okay, enough puns.

TMI Tuesday #160

1. Ever been skinny dipping?

No, but I'd like to one day. Hopefully while I still look good.

2. How often do you kiss or make out without it simply being a foreplay activity?

Not at all, unfortunatly.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how content are you with your life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) Do you think 'content' and 'happy' the same thing?

I'd say a six or seven. My life is far from 'perfect' but I'm better off than the majority of the people in this world. Contentedness and happiness are definitely not the same thing. Contentedness is the state of being satisfied; happiness is being delighted, pleased, or joyous.

4. What do you do to relieve stress?

Surf the Internet, play games, visit with friends, eat or drink, read, sleep, have a shower, masturbate. (Oops, how did that get there?)

5. What was the special trait in your first lover that made you decide that they were "the one?"

I haven't reached that point yet.

Bonus: How old were you when you first had sex? (positive experiences here...)

x + y = z

(Where x is my age now and y is the interval between now and when I lose my virginity.)

TMI Tuesday #161

1. When did you last use your cellular telephone as a flashlight?

I don't own a cellphone, so never.

2. On a scale from 1-10, how comfy are you being naked?

In private, I'd say about six. With other people around? Let's say three.

3. What is the longest you've ever been celibate after having lost your virginity?

This just isn't applicable.

4. Have you ever had sex in a car? If yes, since you were a teenager?

No I haven't. (Uncomfortable much?)

5. When did you last use food or drink as medication?

Whenever I don't want to die of starvation? I don't know what would qualify as medication. I usually have a drink with dinner or after I get home from work.

I'm not going to do the bonus this week. I'm not sure how to answer.

Tardy TMI Tuesday Trifecta Two

(Two, four, six, eight, look at me alliterate!)

TMI Tuesday #157

1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?

Yes. Quite a few times, actually. For a while I used to worry that it was a spiritual/religious thing. I know now that I was buying into the social stigmas around sexuality, and that what I was experiencing was actually a hormone crash. When it comes down to it testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, and adrenaline are little more than drugs.

2. Did you ever own a fake ID?

I never did, and I don't need one now.

3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?

I don't think I lie very often. I prefer being candid. I used to lie a fair bit in high school about my homework. I imagine I still tell white lies occasionally. Sometimes social etiquette requires it.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?

Generally speaking, I don't receive criticism very well. It's a bit easier to accept constructive criticism because it's ultimately to my own benefit. I'll say a 5 or 6.

5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?

Overshare in 3...

2...

1...

Yes. I don't mind arm hair or leg hair. But I don't like having body hair or pubic hair. I don't mind it on other people though. Just not having it seems neater, cleaner. I feel that it gives me more sex appeal. It's also a confidence thing. You can walk down the street and tell yourself "I know something you don't."

Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

I'm not going to throw numbers around. I'm not a sociologist. FWB's are interesting things. I think the greatest concern with a FWB would be an actual relationship evolving, which is probably what FWB's are designed to avoid. Sex can be just sex; deeper emotions need not be involved. Sometimes people just need to de-stress and indulge their desires. I don't think most men have the social awareness to recognize this and may assume that a relationship exists where one does not. Conversely, I think most women do have the social awareness to recognize that fact.

TMI Tuesday #158 - Firsts!!!

1. Who and when was your first crush?

Kindergarten, I think. I don't remember her name.

2. Who and when was your first date?

No 'official' dates thus far. 'Unofficial' dates? I'm not sure what the first one would be.

3. Who and when was your first kiss?

I don't think that's actually happened yet. *blush*

4. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in a car?

Hasn't happened yet.

5. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in a house?

Hasn't happened yet.

6. Who and when was your first love?

As far as romantic love is concerned, I don't think anyone. There's certainly been plenty of platonic-, familial-, and puppy love.

Bonus: Who's blog did you first comment on?

Damned if I can remember.

TMI Tuesday #159

1. Have you ever had a moving violation? An auto accident? That was your fault?

No, no, and no.

2. Have you ever voted? How old was your were you the first time you voted?

Yes. I was eighteen.

3. Are you glad this election cycle is over?

Yes.

4. Do you have a guilty pleasure? What is it (or are they)?

Everything. No, not really. Dark chocolate is definitely one. Books are another.

5. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done recently?

I don't know. Ask the people that laugh at me.

Bonus: How much impact has the Wall Street and general economic wilt had on you?

It's made me reconsider opening a new bank account, and made me reluctant to invest in stocks. That's about it so far.

TMI Tuesday #156 - Foresight

I've often described myself as a private person. Given the rise of cell phones, instant messaging, and social networking websites, I sometimes wonder if that is truly the case. We've all heard the horror stories: employers finding incriminating photos of their employees and the like. The Internet has gained a sort of disassociation from reality in the public mind. People seem to forget that they are not always anonymous on the Internet.

Social pressure is a powerful force. It's why I often refrain from voicing my opinions except to a few close friends. I realize this is detrimental to my own interests and the interests of society, namely the free flow of ideas. Consequently, I've removed the disclaimers from some of my previous entries. No one has the right to not be offended. So here's throwing caution to the wind; and this week's TMIs.

1. What do you do that sends a clear signal to your partner that you're interested in an intimate evening?

I've never had a partner and I've honestly never had a serious relationship. In lieu of a deep impressive answer I'll settle for "Hey, wanna have sex?"

2. How important is foreplay to an exciting evening?

Once again, I'm not speaking from experience. But suffice it to say that foreplay is very important. It's what makes the rest of sex as enjoyable as it is. I'm sure a lot of people overlook foreplay for the act of sex itself; but I imagine that foreplay is a truly enjoyable experience in and of itself. Last but not least, foreplay builds tension.

3. What is the first thing you do during foreplay or what is the first thing you like done to you?

I have no clue. A lot of people seem to enjoy kissing and roaming hands. (To clarify, I know what to do but I don't know what I would do.)

4. Are you a one and done kind of partner (20 minutes or so) or do you like intimacy sessions longer than 60 minutes?

I would like to think the latter and not the former. Again, building tension.

BONUS: If you are interested in sex with a same-sex partner, what would be the first thing you'd like to touch on that other person, and why? (For those already in same sex relationships...what was the first thing you touched, or if you were interested in a relationship with the opposite sex, what would be the first thing you touched?)

[Overshare Imminent]

Just what my friends need to know about. My gay fantasy. I can think of a few things that I could find attractive on a guy...the chest, shoulders, neck, ears, hair. I'd probably go for the ass...just to find out what it's like.

Election Day

Today was an important day. It's the third federal election we've had since the turn of the millennium. At the time I'm writing this sentence, the polls are still open for another twenty-five minutes. I cast my ballot about forty minutes ago.

I didn't feel like I had an easy choice to make. Until last week, anyway. Vote splitting in my riding has been a problem. The Greens, National Democrats, and Liberals have traditionally fought the Conservatives for votes. The result being that the Conservative Party has held this riding for three successive parliaments.

The National Democratic candidate dropped out of the running this year. Regardless of that fact, I was caught between voting my conscience and making a smart vote. That is, a vote for a candidate that had a fair chance of winning. Forcing the electorate to make a choice like this is definitely one of the failures of our First-Past-the-Post system.

After my Conscience Vote Party unofficially endorsed my Smart Vote Party (at least in my riding) my decision became a bit easier. I'd rather not take a risk with my vote if I can help it. It's likely we'll have another Conservative minority, but maybe we'll unseat a MP and Cabinet Minister in this riding.

TMI Tuesday #155 -- The Seven Virtues

1. Prudence: When do you feel it is most important to exercise prudence? When is it acceptable to throw practicality out the window?

Being Obsessive-Compulsive, some misinformed people might think I try to be prudent all the time. I'm not. At it's heart, Obsessive-Compulsive disorder is an illness of irrationality dressed in the trappings of rational fears and responses. Besides, I only have mild OCD anyway.

My friends know this. We joke around and make jabs at each other. (Some of them might even say I have a sense of humour.) Sometimes they flirt, but they rarely take it seriously.

I think it is the most important to exercise prudence when the consequences can affect other people. For example, their health and well being. Politics is a second example. My opinion is that a voter who is not well-informed has the responsibility to not cast a ballot and not vote based on petty reasons.

2. Justice: Is a sense of justice really a virtue, or is only a tool that allows us to pass judgment on others without feeling guilty? What do you feel is the greatest injustice facing the world today?

I think this very much depends on the eye of the beholder. Imagine a society where Social Contract Theory or Consent Theory provides the basis for the rule of law. To a member of that society, a sense of justice might seem like a virtue because of all the reinforcing messages that person is exposed to. To an external observer however, it may appear to be a mechanism for passing judgment without experiencing the associated guilt.

The greatest injustice facing the world today? That's easy: the continued prevalence of human stupidity and indifference.

3. Temperance: All things in moderation. Should we allow ourselves a few excesses? How well do you restrain yourself when faced with your deepest desires?

A few excesses now and then are definitely allowable. What are our labours if not for our fruits?

Saying that, I think I restrain myself fairly well. I save what I can, and I don't spend beyond my means. I wonder if I've been too stingy. What is the purpose of wealth if you never use it to enrich your life or the lives of others?

4. Courage/Fortitude: How well do you confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation? Does facing the little things make you as brave as facing the big things?

I don't deal with these well. It's because of my obsessions. I usually get very anxious and I try to avoid my problems instead of confronting them. If small issues bother me, larger issues probably bother me more.

5. Faith: Is it important to have faith? How steadfast are you in your core beliefs? Do your core beliefs equate to faith in something?

I'm having some qualms about this question. Depending on the definition of faith it could mean very different things. Following from the first definition, I have no problems saying I have faith in my friends, or my ability to get out of bed and go to work tomorrow.

Given the second definition, I'm inclined to say it's foolish, possibly detrimental, to have faith. I wouldn't consider it a virtue in this case.

6. Hope: Does having hope for the future help you deal with the present? How good are you at finding the good in the bad? What is the thing you hope for most?

I suppose it does. I tend to daydream a lot, create a rough plan for my life. I think I try to examine a problem from all angles to find the good in it but I'm ultimately a realist. In a broad sense, I don't know what I hope for the most. In the short-term I'd like an easy Wed-Thu-Fri at work.

7. Love/Charity: How easy is it for you to give selfless, unconditional, and voluntary loving-kindness? How easy is it for you to receive selfless, unconditional, and voluntary loving-kindness?

I think I'm fairly good at giving selfless and unconditional love and kindness. Receiving is another story. I have a strong independent streak and I have difficulty accepting help from others, especially if it's unsolicited. I've surmised that I consider it an attack on my ability to fend for myself.

[Why is there no bonus this week? And what happened to the 'TMI' part?]

~The Muse

TMI Tuesday #154

1. What do you feel is the difference between sexy and erotic?

I think this is the best question I've seen so far. I would describe sexy as a state of being; an attitude. Eroticism leans more towards the physical act of sex itself. I would say that it's possible to be sexy but not erotic, but you can't be erotic without being sexy.

2. Do you believe there is one right person (i.e. soul mate) for you out there in the world, or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with?

I think that the concept of a single soulmate is a hold-over from the Romantic Period. There are many compatible lovers/life partners for any individual. I find the concept of spending youth to find 'your one true soulmate' greatly wasteful. Imagine if you didn't find your soulmate! Consider it Pascal's Wager as applied to love.

3. Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner?

"I love you" is just a phrase. Actions speak much louder than words; I would much rather have a loving embrace.

4. What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing?

I'm not quite sure. My mother sometimes asks me, "How come I never see you happy?" Hyperbolic for sure, but I don't think the problem is happiness per se, but expressing it. I can be happy but still be quite serious. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm losing my sense of humour. (Desensitization in our media obsessed culture.) I find it takes a lot to get me to laugh out loud.

[Case-in-point: 'Laugh out loud' seems so cliche now. I blame the proliferation of the acronym L.O.L.]

5. What is worse - physical, mental or cyber cheating?

This is a tough call. I would classify cyber cheating as a form of mental cheating. Between physical and mental I would choose physical. Physical and mental cheating together is certainly worse.

The physical act of sex does not necessarily require an emotional component, although it certainly makes sex more fulfilling. Depending on the relationship and the partners involved, this may or may not be a problem. I might write a separate post expanding on this point.

I believe that a person's thoughts are sovereign. As such, I don't think a partner's fantasies are any of my business unless they decide to involve me in them or they act upon them.

Bonus: The Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of their sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual. Where are you - TODAY - on the scale?

The last time I took a test to place myself on the Kinsey Scale, I scored a one. This time I scored a three. I don't believe the test I took this time was the same test I took last time, so I wouldn't put a lot of stock in the consistency. Furthermore, there is only the Kinsey Scale. Kinsey developed no test or examination to be used in conjunction with his scale. Self-reporting, I would still say I'm a one. [That's predominantly heterosexual; only incidentally homosexual AKA 'bi-curious.']

TMI Tuesday Trifecta

Rejected names include "TMI Tuesday Triple Treat" and "TMI Tuesday Triple Terror."

I know that this is exceptionally late, but I want to at least try to remain consistent.

Let's start with the newest TMI's and work our way backwards shall we?

TMI Tuesday #153

1. What is the strangest thing you have ever inserted or seen inserted (in a sexual manner) in person?

Oh dear.

The use of 'strange' makes this a very subjective question. I wouldn't think of anything I've personally used as strange, although I've only used one thing. For the record, I haven't seen anyone else insert anything in person.

2. Have you ever had sex anyone whose name started with a J?

*Snicker* Does myself count?

3. Have you ever been outside completely naked?

I don't ever recall being outside completely naked.

4. Do you prefer music, tv, or other noise in the background when you have sex?

I honestly don't know. I think some types of music would be nice, as well as nature sounds.

5. Have you ever used ice for sexual purposes?

Yes.

Bonus: Have you ever been propositioned for group sex?

No. (Sadly.)

TMI Tuesday #152 - Rerun edition

1. Ever been stalked an ex [sic]? Stalked an ex? Or stalked 'a you'd like to be'?

No I haven't. Hopefully I'd be worried if I was or did.

2. How often do you reach orgasm during sex? Has then historically been true?

Usually once.

3. Teeth when used during oral stimulation, good or bad?

Coming from my angle? Bad. Possibly very bad.

4. How many times is the most you have ever had sex in a 24 hour period? How many different sexual partners have you had in a 24 hour period?

Seven and one, respectively. (Does it really count if it's myself?)

5) Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone email your deepest secret too [sic] all your friends?

Hmm. Knowing my friends and knowing how self-conscious I can be, I'd rather take the latter.

Bonus: Have you ever kissed your partner on the lips after oral sex without brushing teeth, nor washing/gargling/rinsing out mouth? Turn on or off?

No, and no idea.

TMI Tuesday #151

1. Describe the perfect date for YOURSELF... what you would enjoy most.

I'm honestly not the dating type. I'm more of a 'meet people casually' person. I guess a nice dinner and an evening at the waterfront or the gardens.

2. Do you lean more toward being submissive or dominant?

I lean more to the submissive side. At this very moment, I'm beginning to wonder if it's more psychological than I originally thought. An effect of anxiety perhaps?

3. What do you usually wear to bed?

Over the last several months, whenever I've had the opportunity, I've taken to sleeping in the nude. I read an article at a naturist website touting the supposed health benefits of sleeping nude and naturism in general. Ever the skeptic, I decided to try it for myself. I believe that ever since the change I've been sleeping better. I also find the feeling of my comforter against my skin quite sensual.

(I can't find the exact article, but this .pdf is fairly good for anyone who's interested.)

4. Have you ever seen a counselor?

Yes I have. I'm not going to say anything else beyond that.

5. Lights on or off?

Lights on. Maybe lights off sometimes to mix it up.

Bonus: Have you or a partner ever faked an orgasm?

No.

Compulsion: Guilt

This is me, nearly everyday.

TMI Tuesday #150

1. When was the last time someone hit on you? What went down?

I can't remember the last time anyone hit on me.

2. If you were single and could be with any one person, who would it be (thinking singer/actor or someone famous here, but whatever)?

Ugh. I hate this kind of question. I don't think I could deal with being a celebrity's S/O.

3. Have you ever had done anything sexual in your office or your place of employment?

No.

4. Do you apologize when you make a mistake? How do you react when someone calls you out?

I'll apologize if I know I made a mistake. I'd probably act defensive if someone called me out on making a mistake.

5. Top or bottom?

Bottom. Sub or Dom?

Bonus: How old were you when you first had a willing sexual experience?

I'm assuming masturbation doesn't count. You'll have to refer to the following formula:

(Current Age) + X = Y

Where X is the interval between Current Age and Y
Where Y is the age of my first willing sexual experience

See you same time next week!

Why Did I Even Write This?

So here's the answer from last week's TMI Tuesday that I didn't write. I'd like to be a woman. Before you even think it, it's not for some sexual kick. Although there are several sexual perks I can think of. (More nerve endings and more intense orgasms, the capability of having multiple and G-spot orgasms, female ejaculation, etc.)

It's about experiencing existence from the perspective of the opposite sex. I'll never know what the intimate connection between a mother and a child is like. I'll never have the experience of giving birth or menstruating. (From what I've been told they're not at all pleasant, but I'm honestly curious. You have to take the good with the bad.) I'll never know what it's like growing up as a girl or dating a man, or even another woman, from a feminine perspective. I'll never have the innate intuition and empathy that most women seem to have. I'm not really ashamed to say that I'm jealous of women.

There's even more than that. The female body seems to me much more aesthetically pleasing than the male one. Perhaps I have a biased opinion because I was born as a male. I find the male form so rugged and unsophisticated. I think Auguste Rodin's works provide a perfect example of the beauty I'm trying to convey. Works like The Kiss, The Poet and the Muse, Eternal Spring, and so on.


[DOMAI has a nice article on the female form here.]

For a while, when I still clung to the notion of reincarnation I had hoped that my next life would be that of a woman, so I could experience life from a new perspective naturally. Another thought I had was that if I ever had children, I would want a daughter. I didn't really know why at the time, but I think now I do. If I couldn't have the opportunity to be the fairer sex, perhaps my child could. I realize now that I was projecting my thoughts and feelings.

I don't have these feelings strongly enough to justify to myself any type of reassignment surgery. I imagine if there were no side effects and it were reversible, I'd give it a try. I might even stay that way if I liked it. But I was born a male, and I have to play the cards I was dealt in life. I wouldn't call myself trans-gender. I think trans-curious is a better phrase. Like Ron Rifkin's character Saul in Brothers & Sisters, the great irony of my life is that I love women. Perhaps so much that I don't think I'd mind being one.

TMI Tuesday #149

I know it's a day few days late, but I'm doing it anyway.

1. What is the one thing you would change about your body?

I wouldn't like to have as much body hair. =\ I actually have another answer I'd like to write, but it's going to be really long so I'll save it for another time.

2. What is the one personality trait you would change?

I'd like to be more focused. I'd like to be able to start something and finish it. I don't like how I try to justify my procrastination.

3. What is the one thing about your job you would change?

I would like to have a job. Period.

4. What is the one thing about your home you would change?

I'd like to have my own place if I could afford it. The floor in my parents' kitchen could use replacing though. Some of the mouldings could use replacing too.

5. What is the one thing about your Significant Other you would change?

Just having an S/O would be nice right now. Messing with the details can come later.

6. Who is the one person you would poof out of your life and why?

This one is really hard. I don't think there's anyone I'd really like to get rid of. Even in a joking sense. My family and friends add a depth to my life I wouldn't have without them.

7. Who is the one person you would poof back in and why?

This is almost the same as #6. I wouldn't really want to change anything. I have a 'let it be' philosophy. However, I would probably ask for my uncle back. He died too young.

The Confusion of Language

Returning to my entry from August sixth, I'd like to discuss two specific examples of 'the disconnect between what people say and what they mean.' Perhaps a better way to put it would be the double-interpretation of words or phrases.

On a recent outing a friend of mine brought one of these such phrases to my attention. That phrase being 'slept with.' As in, "I slept with him/her." This could be interpreted in one of two ways. First, that the individual literally and platonically slept with the person in question, or second, that the individual had sex with the person in question. Today, most people would assume the latter meaning over the former. The problem with this is that there is no way to be sure how the message will be interpreted without being explicit in the details. "I slept with him/her" is far more subtle than "I had sex with him/her."

Consider the following scenario: Person A tells Person B that they 'slept with' Person C. Person B misunderstands Person A's meaning and tells Person D that Person A and Person C had sex. Person D tells Person E, who tells Person F, and so on. Eventually Person C comes to Person A angry, because the rumour made its way to their partner and their relationship is now standing on shards of broken glass. This is of course, a worst-case scenario, but it demonstrates the potential fallout from the misinterpretation of language. The message is clear: say what you intend to say plainly, and make sure the other person knows what you mean. (Really, it would help all us unperceptive folks.)

My second example is more specific, and involves the use of the word 'girlfriend.' When a man uses the word 'girlfriend' the meaning is usually clear: it's his romantic interest. When a woman uses the term, it's simply a friend. But what if that woman is a lesbian? Does she mean a romantic interest or a platonic friend?

There is also a double standard here. If a man where to use the term 'boyfriend' he may be accused of being gay, even if he only meant it in a platonic sense. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay; it is simply that in some social circles being gay is considered undesirable and some people may wish to avoid that association.

I think there is definitely a muddying of the waters and a 'communication breakdown' occurring in the modern vernacular. Political correctness may have something to do with this, but that is a topic for another time. (Sorry segue fans.)

TMI Tuesday #148

Ugh. It's been a week and I haven't done a proper post since last week's TMI Tuesday. Oh well.

1. Are you truly politically correct? Be honest.

I try to be, but I'm honestly not. I do not think facts should be subject to political correctness.

2. Will you ever streak in public during rush hour?

Hahahahahaha! No.

3. Would you ever do something sexual in public (more than 20 people around)?

It's highly, highly, unlikely.

4. Do you ever not have good table manners?

Probably. I do my best to be polite, but I'm not anal about it. I don't bother with switching my knife and fork from hand to hand depending on what I'm doing.

5. Do you ever fantasize about a public sexual act? Describe.

No, I don't. (But I probably will now...)

Bonus: Have you ever gone through a true sexual fantasy? Describe.

No, I haven't. But I would like to. (Doesn't everyone want their fantasies to come true?)

TMI Tuesday #147

1. What is your favorite song to have sex to?

I haven't actually had the opportunity to try this out. I think "Crimson & Clover" would be a good choice, as well as "Kashmir." "Wolf Moon" has some erotic symbolism. A lot of people talk about "Closer" but I just don't get what they see in it. Classical is probably another good choice.

2. What is your vision of hell?

I don't believe in Hell, but if I did I would picture it something like this. Mostly because I like the idea of Hell being ironic. Although Dante's depiction of Hell in The Divine Comedy is classic.

3. In the film made of your life, who will play you?

I do all my own stunts.

4. What is the one thing you most urgently need to tell your mom?

I honestly can't think of anything that urgently needs to be said.

5. What will be carved onto your tombstone?

"I was as you are; I am what you will be. Remember your mortality. Seize the day." Preferably in Latin.

Bonus: What is your drag name (which would be, first name: the name of your first pet; last name: the name of the street you grew up on)?

Piper Seven. (It sounds more like a callsign than a drag name.)